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Posts Tagged ‘hospital

They Will Take Your Foot

Posted by: blogger in: ● May 19, 2007

These tools that you see in the picture will be used on your foot if you break it. The tools will be used to place the broken bones in the right position. Inside your swallen red foot. What you don’t see in the picture are screws that will be drilled into a metal panel placed upon the broken bones inside your foot. What you don’t see in the picture is the doctor, a young bold guy with sparkling eyes responsible for the operation. Responsible for your day. For your emotions. For your memories. For your job. What you don’t see in the picture is me in the wheel chair and this doc placing it opposite to the tools hanging on the wall. The doctor does not understand why I am laughing. He would normally not see people laughing in my place and situaton. I am laughing because being stoned is too banal. I am laughing because there is nothing I can control. Even that darn wheel chair won’t move as I plan.

The doc leaves to have a look at my x-ray pictures. While you wait in this tool-room stuck in the wheel chair you think of a nice foot massage. About the tasks you will fail to do. Bike rides. Jogging. About losing your job. About Niagara Falls. About people who feel more pain.

Now when you use crutches to walk you see how people are afraid of being part of your life and how they force themselves to show that they love you.

Cut Fingers

Posted by: blogger in: ● April 1, 2007

You are standing in line with sweat on your face, in line to the emergency room. You are holding your ring fingers in your hands. Nicely cut off your ring fingers. In front of you old ladies and men who don’t seem to be that desperate to get help are queued. You want to get in faster. You are worried about the time because from anatomy classes you remember that if you cut your body parts and freeze them immidiately, perhaps, they can be attached again. It’s been already 15 minutes since you found yourself biking without two fingers. One is hanging down your pants, the other one you hold in your hand. So, when in the hospital, you only think about the pressing time. You want to have your fingers attached. Standing in line you are trying to do it on your own. You attach the finger, it won’t hold, because both surfaces are too dry. You don’t want to think it is too late. You imagine how doctors cut a slice from your remaining finger and from the detached finger to make the surfaces wet and sticky to put them back into place. Together. Althou I felt the time pressure, I didn’t feel any pain. I ran to the doctors when I got scared to wait any longer. And the doctor smiled when he saw my fingers. You  know, that wise, I-know-everything smile. When I woke up, the first thing I did, I checked my fingers. They were allright. Now I remember a surgery on my thumb in real life not that long ago, when I got the finger into the bike lock. My nail is still black on one side.